Where do First Out meetings take place?
First Out meetings take place in 'outhouse' on the top end of Capel Street (the opposite end to Parliament Street Bridge). Walking up from Parliament Street Bridge, you'll pass Slattery's Pub on your left hand side. 'outhouse' is on the same side another few minutes walk up the street (See 'Contact us' for a map).
'outhouse' is a resource and community centre for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered communities in Dublin. 'outhouse' has come about through the efforts of people who have been working since 1994 to provide a focal point for our communities.
Where do I go when I come into 'outhouse'?
When you come into 'outhouse' you will be asked to sign in at the desk just inside the door. In this café area on the ground floor there are other people, who are there to participate in other activities such as the Women's Night or other of the groups in 'outhouse'. There will often be a mixture of men and women. On one of the café tables you will see a sign saying “First Out”. We gather at this table and when everyone has arrived we go up to the library on the first floor, which we have to ourselves. If you arrive late the receptionist at the door will be able to guide you as to where to go.
Do I have to be sure that I am lesbian in order to attend First Out?
No, First Out is a group for women exploring their sexuality. You are very welcome whether you are just vaguely aware of having some doubts about your sexuality or whether you know that you definitely are lesbian or bisexual, but feel you could benefit from a space to explore ways of dealing with this or any issues related to it.
Will there be any men at the First Out meeting?
No, First Out is a women-only group. There are other groups in Outhouse specifically for men or for both men and women. Please consult www.outhouse.ie for more information on other groups.
At what point in their life do women typically attend First Out?
We have women of all ages attending. Some women start consciously exploring and questioning their sexuality in their teens; many others are in their forties, fifties or older before realizing that they may not be heterosexual. The majority of women attending First Out tend to be between 20 and 45. Each woman's situation is unique: Some women have identified themselves as gay for many years, some are at the point of just starting to wonder about their sexuality, some are or have been married to a man and have children.
What happens at a First Out meeting and who are the facilitators?
First Out meetings are usually attended by between two and six women and last up to two hours. We are three volunteers, who take turns to facilitate the First Out meetings. Usually we will be two facilitators at each meeting. We call ourselves “facilitators” to indicate that we are not there in any kind of professional counselling capacity, but purely as individual women, who ourselves have been through the journey of exploring our sexuality, and who are now comfortable with our own identity. We encourage everyone at the meeting to participate to the extent they are comfortable with themselves, and we try to ensure that everyone feels welcome and comfortable throughout. The idea is to provide a space, which feels as safe as possible, to openly explore your sexuality through talking about your own situation and listening to others telling about theirs. Some women attend just one meeting and use it as a catalyst to move on in their life, while others attend First Out meetings over a period of time.
First Out is for women who are encountering difficulties within themselves or their surroundings caused by their sexuality. As such is it not a social group, although it often happens that participants exchange phone numbers and having attended the group thereby becomes the basis for starting a social circle within the gay community. If you are in reality quite clear about your sexuality, though, and you are purely looking for a social group, First Out will not be the place for you, and you might instead want to look at some of the other activities offered in 'outhouse', e.g. “Women's Night” every Thursday evening in the café on the ground level. For more information look at www.outhouse.ie.
What will I get out of attending First Out?
- You will get a sense of being understood by others who are currently going through, or have in the past gone through, some of the same feelings you are experiencing.
- You will have the opportunity to talk through your situation, thoughts, fears, etc.
- Through listening to others' stories you will have the realization that you are not alone – no matter what your circumstances are.
What if I'm worried about confidentiality?
No one participating in a First Out meeting, whether as a participant or a facilitator is allowed to disclose any details of conversations/events that take place within the meeting groups to people outside of First Out.
Is First Out a formal charity or organization?
First Out is not a formal charity in any shape or form. As 'outhouse' very kindly hosts our meetings at no expense and all facilitators are volunteers, we have no expenses, so therefore we do not receive, or need, funding from anywhere either (other than perhaps seeking ad hoc funding for leaflets, etc). First Out is purely a very informal gathering once a month. As such we try to keep the structure as simple as possible – there are no formal procedures to be upheld, neither by participants nor by facilitators. There is no board, no policies and procedures and no formal guidelines. We try to keep it this way in order for the meetings to take the form simply of a group of people meeting to chat about a subject that is common to them. Everyone – facilitators as well as participants – is respected equally; no matter what their story, or at what stage in the coming out process they are.
Are First Out facilitators guided by any kind of ethical framework?
Although First Out is not a formal organization, we conduct the meetings within the same ethical framework as anyone else dealing with people who may feel more or less vulnerable at the time of attending.
- As you are the first and foremost expert in your own life, we will merely be giving you a space to talk freely in order that you in time may reach your own decisions. We do not attempt to direct anyone, or expect any particular behaviour, outcome or result from any participant.
- We will not engage in intimate relationships with anyone attending a First Out meeting.
- No-one attending a First Out meeting will be discriminated against by any facilitator, whether on the basis of ethnic origin, religion, disability or any other conceivable factor.
- We are all open to feedback, whether positive or negative, from anyone who has attended a First Out meeting (See “Contact us” section for contact details).
- We will never disclose any names and identities of anyone attending or any content discussed at a First Out meeting to any third parties and we ask that participants also honour this guideline
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